


tell me all the ways (to stay away)

by EdenAziraphale



Series: Tumblr Fics/Prompts [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-03 03:24:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11523519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdenAziraphale/pseuds/EdenAziraphale
Summary: Short Kylux piece for a prompt I got on Tumblr.Prompt was: Things you said when you thought I was asleepTitle is from Blackout Days by Phantogram





	tell me all the ways (to stay away)

  
Hux’s cigarette flares bright orange, the only light in the dark of his quarters. His inhale is sharp and deep and he savors the heat of the smoke all the way down into the diaphragm. He makes sure to hold it there for just a second, adding the burn of oxygen deprivation to the rush of the nicotine before he exhales heavily, cloud of smoke billowing from his open mouth.   
  
Beside him, Ren sleeps. 

It’s a mistake, of course. It’s always a bloody  _mistake_ , but it’s one that Hux keeps on making, despite the fact that he damn well knows better. Every night that he lets the other man stay is one more black mark against him, another glaring lapse in his otherwise impeccable self control. And in these moments, with nothing to focus on but the inhale-exhale of tabac in his lungs and the heat of Ren’s too-large body against his thigh, there’s no way for Hux to deny how unbelievably, undeniably  _stupid_ he’s being. This can only end in tears. For both of them. They’re better off, really, if he ends it. Sooner rather than later. 

He’s not so blind nor so cold as Ren would choose to believe. He hasn’t missed the stirring of fondness in him, the way Ren’s eyes have begun going soft at the corners each time he looks at him, even when he’s furious, even when he thinks he  _hates_ Hux.   
  
 _It’s better like this,_ he thinks, taking another drag. It’s much simpler to hate someone than it is to… enjoy them, Hux knows. He didn’t get where he is by forming attachments.   
  
Eventually, the cigarette burns down to nothing, barely filter and ash in is hand. He stubs it out in the tray on the night stand. Without a distraction, Hux turns his gaze to Ren, lying face-down beneath the duvet, arms wrapped around his pillow, dark hair spread in a riotous mass of sex-wrecked waves. He takes it all in as best he can in the dark. Touching the other man is an impulse that’s hard to ignore, and the pads of Hux’s fingers are brushing the bare curve of Ren’s shoulder before he even realizes that he’s moved.  _It’s better like this,_ he reminds himself.  _It will be better._  
  
Quietly, Hux slips from beneath the covers, careful not to jostle the the mattress when he goes. He dresses in silence, methodically restoring his uniform to order, the actions familiar enough that he can do it even in this pitch dark. These are his quarters, but he can’t quite bring himself to wake Ren. At least one of them should get some sleep tonight. There’s always work to be done on the bridge, anyway. Hux can use this time to file reports and review the correspondence that’s been getting away from him.  
  
 Productivity. More than anything,  _that_ is what he needs right now.

Set mostly to rights, Hux smooths his hands over his uniform jacket and takes a breath to steady himself. He’s pulling his gloves on, nearly ready to leave, when Kylo shifts, twisting a little restlessly beneath the sheets.  _Dreaming,_ Hux thinks, watching him settle. Kylo has been a restless sleeper during many of their encounters, often woken by dreams or, more vaguely, what Ren himself has reported as ‘the Force’. Nonsense, probably, but Ren certainly seems to believe it.   
  
Hux watches him a moment longer, absently counting the slow rise and fall of his back with each breath. “This is the last time,” he murmurs, gaze falling away to rest on the mattress instead. “This is the last time, Ren.” Words spoken aloud are a commitment. A promise to live up to, even if Hux is the only one who hears them.   
  
He turns then and leaves, slipping out the door and letting it shut with an unsatisfying  _hiss_ behind him. 

Inside the room, Kylo rolls onto his back beneath the sheets, eyes open and staring, unseeingly, at the ceiling.  _You’re so very wrong, General. You’re so very, very wrong._

**Author's Note:**

> Have prompts or requests? Just wanna talk? Come see me at my [tumblr](http://www.edenaziraphale.tumblr.com%20)!


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